Tuesday, May 31, 2011

I'm out...

I know, right? Just one or two blog posts in and I’m hi-tailing it to the white sandy beaches of Mexico. But when a vaca opportunity with my hunk comes up, I gots to take it! Smasher and Bitty will manage without us for a few days and Mama and Daddy will get some much needed R-n-R from our crazy early risers.

So, since this isn’t a very long trip we have planned to make the most of it. Here is our checklist:

Okay so there will be other things like some kind of sunset cruise, a little night life action and some major bonding. Oh, yes, there will be bonding. Cuz when you’re married to a physcho-analyzer, planner, lets-talk-some-more-about-why-we-love-eachother wife there will be bonding. So hopefully I balance that out with my ultra laid back man that would find it incredibly easy to be a beach-bum-livin-on-a-surf-board kind of guy. And I find that super sexy by the way.

Okay so in between all this sleepin’ and bummin’ (oh yeah and bonding), I do plan to catch up on some reading. I’m WAY behind. Here’s my stack:

So really, there is something you must know about me. I am a chronic non-finisher of books, a yeah-yeah-I-got-the-point-in-the-first-chapter kind of reader. Seriously, I've probably read at least a chapter over half of these books. And I always set my standards too high especially when it comes to books and then just run out of time. My hubby is helping me to set more realistic goals so I'm working on it. I’ll keep ya posted. But that lesson starts here.

I actually only ended up taking three books with me.(the rest will be explained at a later time.

Ordering Your Private World – because when I started it with a group of ladies back in CO, it was amazing and totally hit on what I was struggling with. Well, I didn’t finish of course and now it’s another year later and I find myself still struggling, so…HI…My name is Julie (Hi Julie)…and I WILL finish a book this time (yay…applause…you can do it). Thanks for the encouragement.

The 4 Hour Work Week – Well, the title and subtitle are a little deceiving, a friend recomended this book. It's more about structuring your work and life in a better way. We'll see, this one is experimental if anything. 

But another thing you should know about me. I am a self-help book addict. Yikes, don’t tell my husband (ok he knows). Someday I will post about all my self-help books. 

His Needs/Her Needs – Okay, so when I gave this book to my husband on our 9th anniversary, he looked at me kind of scared and said “How to build an affair proof marriage???” Just imagine his voice getting real high at the end of marriage, like that astonished question asking sound. I said “well, but, it’s about our needs, and the front cover looked nice.” Good design gets me every time. But I think it’s more about the photo of the happy couple walking on the beach that got me. 

It even got my kids because I found them both curled up in Bitty’s bed with it pretending to read it. They were either practicing to be good spouses or acting like a married couple..yikes!

Okay, imagine me taking a long awaited nap somewhere where the sun is bright, the salty breeze is fresh and the sound of crashing waves is constant. I’ll see ya in a week! But for now I'll be...


Thursday, May 26, 2011

Still happily ever after...

(warning: read at your own risk, very long. Jeesh it's been 9 years)

He has changed my life in so many great ways. Someday I will elaborate on all these life changing moments and even take you back to the very first moments cause there is so much more to tell. But since I'm new at this blogging thing I better keep it simple for now.

We didn't want to say...I DO...we wanted to commit to I WILL.
For we knew 9 years down the road, through children, job changes, financial need, financial plenty, drama surrounding, chaos, big life decisions and even loss of life, a marriage needed more than the in-the-moment I DO, it needed an ever-present future commitment to hold on tight as the unpredictable roller coaster of life took it's course. 

What did we commit to? Each other. 
Sure there were vows...to honor, to cherish...to kill spiders for her...no, just playin (I just wish we had written that one in) - but that is another blog post. 
But a vow to each other.

My parents divorced after 20 years. In fact we had Papa over for dinner last night and he said the first 10 years were great...the next five years were a little rough...and the last five were miserable. 
At the time of the divorce they gave excuses like...we just fell out of love...we grew apart. At the time I had convinced myself that this was the best thing, they were better apart then together. But in my devastated heart I knew something was horribly wrong with that idea. 

They gave up. They got caught up in life, in their personal life. They DID grow apart because they did not turn inward when things got crazy. 

My dad said those first 10 years, they were broke and penniless, but they were so happy. They didn't know how they were going to put dinner on the table but they went through it all as a team and that made the difference.

So his advice to us? Keep turning inward. 

Next week we are taking a little trip and I've already planned on some "turning inward" moments. WooHoo!

I'm convinced that after having children and as life gets crazy and with each new experience we all change as people. It's normal to. 

It's true that you can continue to learn new things about your spouse after many years of marriage. This is possible because (like all things God created), we are evolving. We mold, learn, adapt, change, improve, grow and get worse in so many ways. 

If at some point you stop turning inward and give up on getting to know your spouse. You stop asking questions about how or why they think/feel about things, stop cherishing the unique way God has made them as a person...
The minuted you break your "I WILL" vow and start merely co-habitating...is the moment the red flag goes up and priorities shift. 

We've gone through these co-habitating slumps as well. They are a given when you live busy lives with kids, jobs, life. But my blinking red indicator light always goes off in my head and I know that if we don't stop and regroup soon we're headed for a mess. 

Girls, listen up! Jeesh! I don't know how any hubby does it frankly. Because women are hard to love sometimes. First of all, physically speaking, we put weight on and off again like a crazy animal with babies, fad diets and other factors. We go through crazy hormone surges if not monthly, then severely while we deal with pregnancy and childbirth. We cry...a lot. We care WAY too much about our clothes, makeup, hair products, care even more about what every one else thinks of us, constantly compare and I could go on and on.

But you men still prefer to come home and snuggle in our arms, continue to answer our delusional questions and shower your grace filled love on all of our quirkiness. Wow!

In conclusion I do have to give you props, honey, because I do believe, that even though husbands are quite remarkable in general, you my love, far out-weigh the typical and go beyond even the most stellar hubbies out there!

After 9 years of marriage you are still sexy, handsome, fun, adventurous, caring and even more so then when we first began this journey.

And I am more in love with you today then I could have imagined as a young bride that said I WILL.


Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Just do it..

I've been toying with the idea of launching a blog for some time now. There are days when every moment of the day seems like an inspirational blog post and then you hit those days that you say to yourself "are you crazy, who would read this stuff?". 

There are two things that have ultimately pushed me over the to-blog or not-to-blog debate. Smasher (more to come on the nickname) is now 5 years old and is graduating preschool on Friday. With the looming thoughts of kindergarten in the Fall, I keep asking myself in dumbfound wonder...where have the last 5 years gone? Knowing that I haven't plunged into the scrapbooking world and beating myself up about not writing down more memories have pushed me to document more of my children's moments in the best way I know how...digitally.

The second reason is that the Hubs and I are celebrating 9 years this week. Nine years already. That's almost ten people. Don't you remember older married couples saying "oh just wait ten years" to your new puppy dog love eyes as a newlywed? Now we are there. I want to make sure the next ten are still sizzling, and that, my friends, is going to take some reflection and a blog would be a perfect way to document some of our greatest adventures to come. 

I step lightly into this blogging world for fear of what others might think of my thoughts or topics, but let's just say it...this blog is really for me and for family and good friends. Shall I gain followers of anyone beyond that, then hopefully it's because people find it interesting, funny, perhaps inspirational. I'll do my best. I may not be as funny as Jami from Meet The Nato's, whose blog I have become a fan of. Or as witty and inspirational as my friend Lauren from Something Real. But in my own way, I hope to make a little mark on the world and let God use our journey to relate with others and hold myself accountable to take in these fleeting moments/blessings and reflect on so many others. 

So....heres we go people! 
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