Thursday, May 26, 2011

Still happily ever after...







(warning: read at your own risk, very long. Jeesh it's been 9 years)




He has changed my life in so many great ways. Someday I will elaborate on all these life changing moments and even take you back to the very first moments cause there is so much more to tell. But since I'm new at this blogging thing I better keep it simple for now.




We didn't want to say...I DO...we wanted to commit to I WILL.
For we knew 9 years down the road, through children, job changes, financial need, financial plenty, drama surrounding, chaos, big life decisions and even loss of life, a marriage needed more than the in-the-moment I DO, it needed an ever-present future commitment to hold on tight as the unpredictable roller coaster of life took it's course. 


What did we commit to? Each other. 
Sure there were vows...to honor, to cherish...to kill spiders for her...no, just playin (I just wish we had written that one in) - but that is another blog post. 
But a vow to each other.


My parents divorced after 20 years. In fact we had Papa over for dinner last night and he said the first 10 years were great...the next five years were a little rough...and the last five were miserable. 
At the time of the divorce they gave excuses like...we just fell out of love...we grew apart. At the time I had convinced myself that this was the best thing, they were better apart then together. But in my devastated heart I knew something was horribly wrong with that idea. 


They gave up. They got caught up in life, in their personal life. They DID grow apart because they did not turn inward when things got crazy. 


My dad said those first 10 years, they were broke and penniless, but they were so happy. They didn't know how they were going to put dinner on the table but they went through it all as a team and that made the difference.


So his advice to us? Keep turning inward. 


Next week we are taking a little trip and I've already planned on some "turning inward" moments. WooHoo!




I'm convinced that after having children and as life gets crazy and with each new experience we all change as people. It's normal to. 


It's true that you can continue to learn new things about your spouse after many years of marriage. This is possible because (like all things God created), we are evolving. We mold, learn, adapt, change, improve, grow and get worse in so many ways. 


If at some point you stop turning inward and give up on getting to know your spouse. You stop asking questions about how or why they think/feel about things, stop cherishing the unique way God has made them as a person...
The minuted you break your "I WILL" vow and start merely co-habitating...is the moment the red flag goes up and priorities shift. 




We've gone through these co-habitating slumps as well. They are a given when you live busy lives with kids, jobs, life. But my blinking red indicator light always goes off in my head and I know that if we don't stop and regroup soon we're headed for a mess. 






Girls, listen up! Jeesh! I don't know how any hubby does it frankly. Because women are hard to love sometimes. First of all, physically speaking, we put weight on and off again like a crazy animal with babies, fad diets and other factors. We go through crazy hormone surges if not monthly, then severely while we deal with pregnancy and childbirth. We cry...a lot. We care WAY too much about our clothes, makeup, hair products, care even more about what every one else thinks of us, constantly compare and I could go on and on.






But you men still prefer to come home and snuggle in our arms, continue to answer our delusional questions and shower your grace filled love on all of our quirkiness. Wow!








In conclusion I do have to give you props, honey, because I do believe, that even though husbands are quite remarkable in general, you my love, far out-weigh the typical and go beyond even the most stellar hubbies out there!


After 9 years of marriage you are still sexy, handsome, fun, adventurous, caring and even more so then when we first began this journey.


And I am more in love with you today then I could have imagined as a young bride that said I WILL.


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4 comments:

Josh Luse said...

Julz you are such a gift to me. My love for you grows each day. You amaze me.

Whitney Rose said...

Julie! Nice work =) I can't wait to read more posts!

Jaime said...

Julie I am so excited that you have a blog :)
You are such a talented writer!!
You and Josh are such an inspiration of True Love, and God's Love!

Hope you two are doing well!!

<3 Jaime Ruby-York

Jen Callinan said...

Great blog Julie! I can't remember where I was in life, that I didn't make this wedding, but I'm so glad you found each other. Blessings for many more years of "happily ever after".

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