Wednesday, September 5, 2012

Why Blog?

Hey…(nope too upbeat)
…wellll…..helllloo there…(too casual)
cricket cricket…(too cliché)
I’m SO sorry…(nope not apologizing)
Did you miss me? (uh too prideful)

Ok fine. There is no great way to break the ice on the blog after hiding out for about 5 months. So I’m just going to jump right in. I’m so excited to contribute here at Bedhead and Brainfarts again on a regular basis.

But it’s kind of like a relationship, you don’t know what you’re missing until you live with out it for a little while.

This blogging thing is weird. It’s like your personal life, but it’s also public. If its your life you shouldn’t have to offer any explanations, but like a friendship, when you put yourself out there people start to care and wonder where you went?

And if you’re coming back.

Well, thanks for caring. I’m back friends!

And I am going to have to play catch up here for a little while because SO MUCH has been happening!

But for today, I wanted to share with you some pondering I’ve been doing over this very subject.

I blog because I don’t get out much. I’m a home body. I would much rather just stay in my pjs all the day long and stay cozy. But I know God is calling me to something better than that. I challenge teenagers every week to DO HARD THINGs, Step out of their comfort zone, challenge themselves. God wants me to do the same. So writing for my blog helps me to do that. It breaks up my daily routine, it allows me to ask questions about things and life and challenges me to do things better. It’s accountability.

I blog because it keeps me sane. Are you at home with kids? Then you might know what I’m talking about here. Okay it’s like this…I will be sharing about my day or retelling something that happened to my husband and right in the middle of all my little (but very important) details he says (with had motions) “can you give me the edited version.” Ugh! Now this is after I listened to all of his little details, and he doesn’t want to hear mine? Then I find myself talking people’s ears off whenever I get into public, kind of like diarrhea of the mouth and I can see in there eyes they are looking for any other kind of distraction to get out of this conversation with me. Ah! That’s embarrassing. So I declare: This blog is my place to ramble. Only better yet, I can reread and edit it down, filter out the unneeded details. So maybe blogging here will help me not to act so insane in my relationships.

I’ll never forget the feeling of Asher starting school this year after the freedom of our Summer schedule. While he’s at school I sometimes get this wave of emotion flowing over me, and it overwhelms me to think “what if he is confused or scared or worn out or lonely or hurt or insecure or disappointed” and I’m not there to comfort him and talk him through it? Then I started looking at pictures of that beautiful smile of his and Lydie as a baby and I began to panic that I didn’t take enough pictures I didn’t write enough things down. I’ve MISSED things, that I may never be able to record because I didn’t take the time to take pictures or blog about it. No more of that. Even if my photos are not up to the standards or pressures I put on myself, even if mom’s hair and makeup are not done (which is like everyday), even if I think it is the most boring content on the planet, I will not have regrets, therefore I will blog for the memories.

This one may not be what you think. I’m an ideas person. I swear I’ve got like 20 more ideas of every 1 idea I hear from somebody. My mind can go crazy thinking of possibilities and scenarios. I wake up in the middle of the night, sit on the toilet, find myself in the shower, driving on a long trip or in the middle of the supermarket when the most profound thoughts and ideas come to me and there is no where to write it down! I think (and sometimes pray) that I will remember this idea until I can find something to write it down with…and what happen? I forget, of course. Can you relate? This produces a build up of ideas (ie steam) until I just feel overwhelmed that I had so many great ideas and nothing to show for it. So there ya go. I blog because it is a great way to share these ideas, see these ideas come to fruition and a place for them to play out. So let the ideas roll…

Yeah, but is it really possible through blogging? Maybe I’ll write more about this later when I feel more confident but in my own experience, being a stay at home mom can sometimes feel pretty lonely. When I don’t get out much I can start to think I am the only person in the world feeling this way. And although talking to others and our husbands may not solve our problems, it sure is nice just to hear… “I know exactly how you feel, I’m there too!” The blogging community is made up of many moms and women who have the same feelings and issues that I do. And sometimes it’s nice to know I am normal and I am not alone!

I read in a health magazine about this syndrome that online media and social network can cause. One magazine calls it the Facebook Syndrome. Some articles describe it as a Facebook addiction, other’s describe a syndrome of how Facebook makes you feel. I have found personally that I must greatly limit the amount I spend looking at the News Feeds. I get sucked in. And when I’ve exhausted my self by scrolling down endlessly and clicking on different updates and pictures. I don’t feel good. I guess I feel like my life kind of sucks. When it really doesn’t. I feel left out, like everybody secretly got together and purposely didn’t invite me. Ha! That’s a lie. These feelings are not even true. But after sifting through information about everybody’s life, I begin to become desensitized to what is reality. When people mostly post about all the positive, amazing things in their lives, and bombard you with lots of glorious photos of everybody having the time of their lives, it’s easy to think that everyone is hanging out without you, and that everyone’s lives is a bed a roses and the comparing begins. It’s important to know your own weaknesses when approaching this sort of thing, for I know I am not alone in this struggle but I also know that many other people don’t ever let their minds go there. So back to the main subject. We can often do the same thing on our blogs. I get sucked into my list of blogs and start to think that all these women lead such perfect lives. Not true.
So I just want to say that here on this blog, I will always be genuine. I will share struggle. Know that I am not necessarily falling apart on the floor (or perhaps I am), but that I share struggle because I want others to learn from it and I learn from it by sharing.

Okay, there you have it!
My first post after a long silence!
It’s good to be back!


rachey said...

Yeah, I'm so excited you're back! :)

Deborah said...

Love your blogs. Mine are so not well written. You can take a normal ordinary topic/subject and make them interesting and come to life. You have writing talent. Mine seem to just be recorded facts/events. : )

jules ... said...

Awe! thanks guys, it's good to be back. I'm grateful that you enjoy my blog. Thanks for the compliments Deb!

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